Friday, August 28, 2009
I stumbled upon a thought the other day realizing I have been in a slight torment for quite some time now. Getting to the bottom of my palpate I realized that I truly care for someone but my affections are not mutual and can I say that indeed it hurts. Life is not easy that is for sure. Now that I think about it I have a faint idea of how Jesus felt when He stretched out his Holy hands on the cross for me and my sins. Jesus sacrificed himself to prove His unconditional love and yet this world still forsaken Him, this world can never get anything right. I despise this wicked world that took something so beautiful as a union of a man and woman and it made it so ugly. Marriage is such a sacred and blissful step in life that must be taken extremely seriously especially with faithfulness of guidance from the Lord. Whatever God gives no man can ever take away, I pray no matter what I am always in the hands of my Creator. This fondness that has grown on me I pray about it, I want God's will in my life and I know true Love is God.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Your whole life you have pupils that come and go, some stay for a while longer and some you don't even get a chance to remember their names, but the ones that are truly for you, just never want to leave your sight. Its funny though, some of the most memorable people I have meet I can't even remember what they look like, but our encounter has left an enduring influence on me. I remember being seventeen and fling back to Ukraine, my birth country for the first time after twelve years. I had to have intense surgery and due to finance limitation I had to go alone without knowing a single familiar person in Kiev. Now, that I think about it I went so free willing; evidently, I am and was a fearless child and the only thing I could remember fearing is the Lord and to this day I pray that never changes. God placed a certain faithful and God loving gentlemen into my life, that took care of me as though I was his own child...wow he did so much for me and he did not even know a single thing about me expect that I was a child of God and that was enough for him to put so much of his time and energy into helping me. He literally held my hand through every dreadful procedure and afterward during my recovery. I remember looking at him thinking how great is our God and the love that He gives on this chaotic earth, the love that just gives and does not expect anything in return. I figured it works like this: the ones that need you the most are the ones that will hold on to you; customarily, the ones you need the most you hold on too. Usually we strive extra hard for those that we need and want, completely different concepts when you think about it, but intervene when we step back and see what are the motives behind everyone we are surround by. Only time will show who are truly there for you. I will never forget this person for he has became dear to me and by God's grace I have taken from him the greatest desire to bring Honor and Glory to My Savior Jesus Christ by being a light of the world.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The day I saw my brother cry so hard he became mute and his heart screamed so loud that it's pain pierced right through my eyes, burning them. I pondered on how much of this life is there, here on this excruciating earth? The night before I went to bed as though in the morning I will wake up and do my normal routine where I begin with the Lord Almighty's word and pray for His mercy and guidance in my life, because a day without him is no day at all in my understanding. But little did I know that the moment I heard my mother scream in the morning I realized the Lord had a different path for me. I ran to her aide and discovered something that was so dear to me my entire life, will no longer be a part of my life. The moment I realized that, my mind, body, and soul froze from agony and despair and tears just stormed out of my heart for my mind remembers only the good and not a single bad thing to make them stop. After days of mourning and praises to my Savior for all I have taken away from everything He has put in my path, I came to a forbearing of my grief. I realized I was just being selfish by wanting to hold on to something that the Lord needed more than I did. Its all still hard to endure because its hard to put your all into the Lord, but the moment you do its so perfect and inconsiderable from then on, its just a matter of understanding I am worthless and weak without my Lord. God promises to take care of me and that's exactly what I am going to let him do!